Are Band Members Friends?

Band Members As Friends

You might wonder if band members also become friends during their musical journey or if they keep it strictly professional and only focus on the job at hand. There are two key factors that influence the conditions of friendship and professionalism in a band.

Usually, when band members get together from a young age, their friendship and the experience of growing together in the music industry are the glue to keeping the band together.

When bands are formed when the musicians are already experienced and developed, it’s often the case that the band members solely focus on the music and their professional growth and do not pay enough attention to the chemistry and friendship factor between the band members.

Let’s look at what contributes to band members becoming friends that will keep the band together for long-term periods.

Set Goals To Earn Mutual Respect

Friendships grow with time, trust, mutual respect and consistency. Even if friendship was not the factor that brought many bands together, they grew to become great friends within the first year of reaching their goals and working towards them.

Setting future goals and setting achievable structure to reach the goals, shows that you respect the time of your band members which makes you a popular band leader or band member to work with and many people will be grateful for the direction you steer the band in.

Often bands that set achievable goals also see their growth much quicker than bands that hang out once a week. Each band needs a balance between direction and friendly time to achieve greatness.

If you are in a band and want to know how to set proper goals to reach your full musical potential, check out my post here: Goal Setting for Bands and Artists.

Build Chemistry Between Your Band Members

I am also a firm believer in spending enough time with your band members outside of the band room where you can get to know each other on a more personal level.

Having a personal connection builds chemistry that can be felt by your audiences during your live performances. Therefore I see building chemistry as a crucial part of building friendships between your band members.

When you also spend sufficient time together outside of the band room in a social environment, you are also more likely to have more productive band practices.

If you want to know more about building Building Chemistry With Your Bandmates, this is the one for you.

Solve Conflict Immediately

It’s normal for band members to disagree at times. When these discussions are not solved, they often turn into hard feelings, and then the problem only gets bigger and harder to solve.

The best is to make sure you can keep the harmony and let each band member feel heard and respected by trying to let your band members understand each other. Often when we place the needs of the band at the center of our decision making, the problems seem to become smaller.

When conflict arises, I always try to place myself in the shoes of the other person, and then I try to reflect if my decisions are selfish or self-centered. Only when I am confident that none of these are applicable, I would try and take it to the next step, which will be to have a mediated meeting with the involved individual.

Before you let a small issue become something out of hand, scan through my post about 9 Steps to Deal with Conflict in your Band.

Give Your Band Members Enough Space and Free Time

After a series of concerts or a high-intensity period, give your band members the break they deserve.

This will allow your band members to:

  • Regenerate their creativity for the next series of songwriting, gigs, recordings and tours.
  • Practice and improve on their instruments
  • Spend time with their loved ones
  • Realise that they miss each other

We want our band members to feel that we also respect their private lives and let their families feel that being a musician also has benefits for the family.

If you want to know more about How to Balance Your Band Commitments With Your Personal Life and spend more time with your family, this one is for you.

Choose Chemistry Above Talent

When you need to bring in a new member, choose someone who fits in with your current band members and band philosophy and not just a musician who’s a fantastic performer.

I’ve tried replacing a band member in a previous band with a more experienced and talented drummer, and it was a total fail. The new member did not fit in and had alternative habits that poisoned the image of the band.

That’s why I always include a 6 month trial period for new band members so that both parties can try it out and see if the personalities and work ethic fit.

Musicians grow together and as long as your members feel equally appreciated and valued, they will bond and accomplish great things together.

To provide more info about this, read my article about How to Find Committed Band Members.

This article was written and published by De Wet from on 13.08.2023. The content was stolen from me if this blog post is seen anywhere other than on my website.

A performing band shining out their chemistry (Photo credit: Canva)

Keep The Original Members

The band members who discovered and established the band originally are more likely to end up being great friends than replacement band members.

Instead of thinking about what you can do to get rid of a band member, think about what different types of relationships you can build with this individual so that you can get your vision for the band aligned.

There are of course also crucial reasons why getting rid of a band member ends up being the best and only solution.

Scan through the article I wrote about How to Ask a Band Member to Leave for a kind, sensitive and subtle perspective to get such a tough job done.

Have Band Members That Lives Nearby

It is often the case that people who live close to each other have a bigger chance of staying together.

The core reasons for this are:

  • It’s convenient to practice at locations close to all the nearby members.
  • The same local culture and internal humour would often be alike.
  • The performance venues are often familiar with dealing with local bands and people with similar mindsets.
  • There’s a greater chance for band members to have mutual friends in the same area which automatically sets the relationship in momentum.
  • Networking becomes easy since you are mostly familiar with the local vibes.
  • Growing a fanbase is less challenging with bands where the members live close by since they might have a bigger chance of having mutual friends. This makes the project more trustworthy and interesting.

I wrote an article with more info on how you can get more band members from your local area. Take a look through How to Find Band Members Near You for the key info.

I hope you find what you were looking for in this article.

If you have any other ideas for band members to also become friends, please add it to the comments below.

For a next step, I strongly recommend that you read my MEGA Starting a Band Checklist to check that your band stays on track to reach your goals and next achievements!

Until next time!

De Wet

The dream started during a school tour at the age of 15 years old. One that might take a long time to reach. De Wet was 16 years old when he got his first bass guitar as a gift from his dad. The guitar was found, hidden under boxes. As if it was waiting for its owner to come by and pick him up. He practiced every day to improve and to teach his fingers to dance to the music. After finishing high school, he played in various bands where he collected valuable experience, before being signed by a record label as an upcoming band. He reached success at age 22 when he released two albums with his band, which also included televised music videos for publicity. By age 24, he co-started management, artist promotion, and booking agency for successful and upcoming musical acts.

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